Why did the Siamese twins move to England? The other one wanted to drive.
Why didn't the pony go to school? Because he was a little horse.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher says, "Take that gum out of your mouth." A train says, "Choo, Choo, Choo!"
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
How do you find the circumference of an igloo? Use Eskimo pi.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, One says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What do you get when you cross a highway with a bicycle? Killed.
What do you put in a barrel to make it lighter? Holes.
What do you call a one day old dog? A puppy.
How do you make dinosaur bacon? Use Jurassic pork.
Why shouldn't you play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
What travels around the earth all year and never uses a drop of fuel? The moon.
What goes putt-putt-putt? A bad golfer.
How cam you tell when two monsters are getting along? They see eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye-eye-to-eye.
School jokes, Animal jokes, Alien jokes, Sports jokes, Halloween jokes, Hospital jokes, Blonde jokes. Every kind of joke except stupid "knock-knock" jokes or stupid pictures to take up space! |